New Resolutions
by Missyhissy3
Summary: What if...Tom had been bitten by one of those insects too? AU Tom's PoV
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Paramount clearly owns all the characters. Copyright:Paramount

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AN: Apologies for messing with many JC fans favourite episode. Hope you can forgive me. Messages/reviews welcome. Thank you to Photogirl1890 for her typo check. I'm very grateful. I've changed a few tiny things in a couple of places since she checked it, so if there are mistakes, it'll be those...

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xxx Chapter 1 xxx

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"_Sickbay to the Captain. This is the Doctor speaking_."

"You've brought us out of stasis. I assume you have news?"

"_Yes. Our sensors show your vital signs are normal. How are you feeling_?"

The captain looked over towards Chakotay and Tom, who were both still stretching out their stasis stiffened limbs, and then she spoke.

"We're fine. How long were we in stasis?"

"_A total of seventeen days._"

Tom looked up immediately and caught her eye.

"That long?" she asked, clearly surprised, unpleasantly surprised.

"_I wanted to exhaust every possibility of finding a cure_."

"And?"

"_I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful. I have not been able to develop a counteragent for the virus and I have no other options to explore_."

"What about keeping us in stasis aboard Voyager?" Chakotay suggested.

"_Something in the planet's environment is shielding you from the effects of the virus. If you leave, you risk a recurrence of the disease, which would undoubtedly prove fatal. The only option I can think of at the moment is contacting the Vidiians. They have sophisticated medical technology... It's possible they might be able to help._"

"We'll take it under advisement, Doctor. Thank you for your efforts. Janeway out."

The captain turned to Chakotay and Tom, the three of them now standing at arms length from each other to form an equilateral triangle. "What do you think?"

"It's risky." Chakotay replied. "The Vidiians have never shown any willingness to help us. It's more likely they'd attack Voyager and try to harvest body parts from the crew."

Then she looked to Tom, who began immediately.

"I guess that's possible, but have we really exhausted all the other options here?"

"I'm afraid it seems we have, Tom," she said. "Other than the Vidiians that is. We do need to be _sure_ that asking them for help really isn't a possibility."

"Could we live with ourselves, knowing we sent Voyager into that kind of danger?" Chakotay asked, holding her gaze for a long moment.

_Well, maybe we could at least debate it a while?_ thought Tom, _I mean, if that is the only option?_ But before he could speak, the captain was already tapping her communicator.

"Janeway to Tuvok."

"_I'm here, Captain._"

"You must be aware of the Doctor's report."

Tom's mouth went dry and he felt his heartbeat speed up.

"_Yes._"

"I'm turning over command of the ship to you on a permanent basis. Your orders are to resume a course for the Alpha Quadrant. And regardless of the Doctor's suggestion, you are not to make contact with the Vidiians."

_Now why would she go and say a thing like that?_

"Captain?" Tom couldn't help himself. He looked towards Chakotay in desperation, hoping to find an ally there, but the first officer was studying his boots. Was Tom really the only one here who wasn't keen on the idea of martyring himself after only about three seconds reflection?! Couldn't they at least discuss it?

"_I understand._" came the very Vulcan response.

"I'll prepare a message for the crew."

Tom swore under his breath and pinched himself, hoping he'd wake up back in his quarters and this whole nightmare would turn out to be just that.


	2. Chapter 2

Day 8

So, here we are.

Still can't really believe it, that they've actually resumed course without us. Tuvok in charge and God-knows-who flying the ship.

So I'm stuck here with Mr. and Mrs. We-had-no-option-but-to-sacrifice-ourselves-for-the-Greater-Good. No option? They've got to be kidding; we didn't even try. I've a good mind to take that type nine shuttlecraft and fly off at oh…all of warp four… and find some friendly Vidiians all by myself.

I can't believe either of them!

I'd never have taken Janeway for such a pushover. She never usually gives up that easily. I can only presume she's still on some insane guilt trip for destroying the array, and she sees this as her punishment or something twisted like that. Wish she'd have just replicated her herself a hair shirt and let us go after them.

And he's no better… Where's the Maquis tactical genius when you need him? What's _happened_ to him? I guess it's her influence; she's softened him up. Although he was quite happy to disobey her orders when it suited him over Seska and that transporter module. But now it's all 'Yes, Captain', 'No, Captain', 'Three bags full, Captain'. And that's another thing, what's with the 'Captain' thing still? I mean she told us to call her Kathryn and it's been days now, eight days actually, but hey, who's counting? Took me all of five minutes to remember to get her name right.

And I know I'm still not exactly his favourite person, after all that went down with Jonas; I did give him a pretty hard time. But that was two whole months ago now, so I wish he'd stop _glaring_ at me like that.

Got to admit he can cook though, whatever that was he made last night was really good, tasted kind of like baked Risan beans. Hopefully we won't have to sample the delights she can whip up again. I sure wouldn't want to be stuck down here on my own with _her_ when the replicator packs up.

But, then again, eventually, if we're going to be here for months or _years_ even, I might've preferred just her. It's just my luck to get myself stranded here with just about the only man on the ship who'd be ahead of me in the Janeway stakes if anyone was ever going to get in there.

Back on the ship I've seen a few sparks fly between them on those rare occasions when she allowed herself to actually_ see_ him. It's the same down here, most of the time she seems to go out of her way to keep her distance from him, and it almost seems like she's purposefully looking somewhere past his left shoulder so as not to notice him.

He's a lot things, most of them seriously annoying, but you can't really miss the fact he's not bad looking, I'd have to concede that. She seems pretty skilled at not noticing though. Even when we stripped to our boxers to swim in the river the other day. Neither of us was doing a very good job of pretending we weren't checking her out in that wet vest and those too-short shorts, but she didn't seem to even want to sneak a peek. Wonder how long that'll last? Is she _really_ going to keep herself to herself _forever_? I mean she's the only woman on the whole damn planet!

Then again, yes, she just might. I wouldn't put it past her.

I suppose I should be grateful I'm marooned with these two instead of say, Neelix and Tuvok, or the Doc and Chell… It could've been worse. Then again it would've been a bit more fun down here with B'Elanna and Harry. Wonder whether Harry'll find himself moving in on my first choice of fellow castaway. I know I've seen him watching her too once or twice. And now, of course she'll be missing a friend. What with us gone.

I really hope we're going to get somewhere with finding a cure soon, before the ship's too far ahead to ever catch up. Because even that rehab colony back in New Zealand doesn't seem so bad right now; at least there was a final release date to look forward to.


	3. Chapter 3

Day 20

It's gotten cooler at night. Guess it must be getting closer to the end of the summer? If this planet has a temperate climate, that is.

It's still really hot during the day and very sunny, so that river sure comes in handy. Without it, we'd have been either wasting power on showering three times a day, or living with one hell of a stink.

The shelter is pretty small really. I know it's well equipped and everything, and we're not really roughing it, as someone likes to remind us, but in terms of real space, I'm just glad we can be outside a lot during the day. The evenings in here can be tough; I'm already starting to get edgy. Winter here would be even worse! Presuming there is a winter.

Anyway, we're finding some sort of rhythm to our lives here now. She directs the research; I assist her. He makes things, cooks, cleans even. My 'house-husband' comment didn't go down that well the other day. It was affectionately meant… Kind of. I mean I'm grateful, because I certainly wouldn't want to be doing all that!

I'm sick of these tiny beds. I'd be prepared to take the time away from the research to help him build bigger ones. I was only half-listening, but I think he said he's going to build some. After he's finished with the bathtub that is.

He hasn't told her he's building it. Kind of sweet really. Sure she'll be thrilled; hell, she might even _smile_ at him. Can't believe I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him, but she still seems to treat him like he's invisible half the time. At least she _finally_ noticed today that he's been off in the woods a lot lately.

She talks to me a lot more than she does to him.

That's hardly surprising though, given that he doesn't share her enthusiasm for her favourite topic of conversation. I don't think she's actually noticed, but it's obvious to me that he doesn't believe we're going to find a cure and so he just isn't interested. And it's _all_ she ever talks about. Even I'm getting a bit tired of it. And I'm with her on this. We really need to find a way off this planet before we go slowly insane. There's no way I'm spending the rest of my life here.

Then again his conversation's worse! I'm just not going to accept we're staying here long term, so no, I don't want to help you build stuff and extend the shelter, thank you very much! I want to _leave_ for God's sake!

To be honest, I'm struggling with both of them at the moment. I'd do pretty much _anything_ to get back to life on the ship. First time in ten years I was starting to feel like I actually had a life worth something, and now it's sailed off at warp without me.

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Day 24

He finished it. Have to admit he's done a good job. It's beautiful. Looking forward to my turn. She's already tried it out. Took an age to fill it. I couldn't help noticing he's built it big enough for two. It'd be a tight squeeze, but you could certainly do it, as long as you didn't mind meeting in the middle that is….

She called us out there tonight, thought there was someone in the woods, but it was just some weird, squawking monkey that stands up on it's back legs like a human.

That's when it hit me just how totally screwed the three of us are here. I saw his eyes wandering when that towel slipped. He's got it bad. But there's just nothing going on there, I'm afraid. If she's giving any green lights, then she's too subtle for either of us. I certainly haven't seen any. She doesn't seem the least bit interested in anything except those insect traps. Shame, because she did look pretty good in that towel. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been wondering just what she's got going on underneath it too. I know that isn't exactly helpful, given he's clearly been wondering a while longer than I have, but it's not really as if there's anything I can do about it.

Presuming she's not going to give either of us the time of day in that department, I wonder how long it'll be before _he_ starts looking pretty good to me? Sooner than I'd like, I guess. I mean we're not exactly going anywhere; we could even be here for the rest of our _lives_ and if it's him or that monkey…

I can't believe I just had that thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Day 43

We've nearly finished clearing up after the storm; I think it's gonna take two full days.

That was quite a night; I've never lived through a storm quite like it. At the worst point, it felt like the shelter was being struck by lightening every thirty seconds. Everything came crashing down around us and it blasted a couple of pretty big holes in the roof.

We sandwiched her between us under the main table, as that's the only protection there is in here. She cried out each time she saw a piece of our equipment hit the floor and shatter and her hands screwed up fistfuls of the back of my shirt; I don't think she even knew she was doing it. I tried to block her view by the end, and I could hear him behind her, trying to comfort her as he held her.

I'm as gutted as she is that it's all gone. But it really is. There's just no way we could carry on without all that equipment. It's gonna take a while to sink in.

When we were finally able to come outside and take a look around, I actually thought she might cry. I hugged her and I felt her really sag against me. But she held herself together, like she always does. The way she looked at him though, you'd think he'd smashed the place up himself! That sure was strange. Funny, because there'd been more of those sparks flying between them than usual in the past few days, and I thought she was finally starting to relax a little. A couple of times, I even began to wonder if I'd underestimated how much might be going on when I'm not around. Then this happened, and any fool can see she's hit rock bottom. Can't say I feel too great either.

The irony of it is that we were finally on to something. She and I had both been putting in twelve-hour days on it, and even more than that recently, when it'd seemed like we might be close to a break-through.

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Day 44

Last night was awkward. Really awkward. I'd say it just took the number one spot for most awkward moment so far, coming in just ahead of that time I walked in on him in the shower room when he was butt naked, checking himself over for new insect bites. Glad I was able to help though, pointing out that big one on his back.

I was feeling low after dinner, so I left them in the living area and went to lie down and then ended up dozing off on my bed. When I woke up later and walked out, both of them were just standing there facing each other, almost touching. The tension in there was really something else, so I decided to make myself scarce. Luckily, with more than one moon, it doesn't sound too crazy when you say you fancy a moonlight stroll.

I was gone well over an hour, and when I got back, they'd both already turned in, so I slotted myself back into my alcove. I lay there for ages before I could get to sleep.

Seems I wasn't the only one. I could hear her next door. I know she likes to read and sometimes stays up later than I do, but from the atmosphere earlier, I'd say Chak might've finally made a move. My gut feeling is that it can't have been too successful. Mainly, because it's too soon. I guess he just doesn't get it. He can't expect her to have already accepted living out our lives here, just like that, in a couple of days.

The ship's light years away now, and now there's no chance of finding a cure and leaving, everything here suddenly feels different. It's like I'm only just starting to wake up to what our being here means.

He's got a head start on us, because he's been living in the present ever since we got here. Kathryn and I have got some serious catching up to do. That is if we can. I'm really not sure how to even start thinking about being here for the rest of my _life._

I know we're not in a command structure anymore, but, up until now, I've just let them decide pretty much everything. If we're really going to have to stay here for _years_, then I want to have an equal say in what we decide to do. It's not that they've stopped me so far, it's just that we all just end up slipping back into our roles from the ship more often than not, especially when it comes to making decisions. And they can both be very determined and convincing when they want to do something. Guess they wouldn't have got to where they are in life if they weren't.

I'm not looking forward to their first big fall out, when they really don't see eye to eye. Kathryn might be a nose ahead when it comes to being stubborn, but he's pretty skilled with rhetoric once he's on a roll. More than once already I've found myself nodding in agreement like a fool after only a few minutes, when I started off thinking his suggestion was crazy. I don't want to end up stuck in the middle, but I'll have no choice if that's the only way to keep the peace. The last thing we need here is for the three of us to be at each other's throats.

And here I go again, analysing them! There are just no distractions; that's what's so unnatural here. Like it or not, all we have is each other.

When there was the possibility of finding a cure and leaving, we were all focused on our tasks, and there was something to keep up morale. And I was looking outwards, looking back to the ship. Now that's gone, it's changed everything for me and for her, for all of us really.

I know I chose this life when I signed up years ago, and there was always the chance that things would turn out in a way I couldn't predict, and we're still alive and all that, so I shouldn't complain, but… this situation is really going to take some getting used to. I know I need to focus on what's positive about being here, but right now, I'd have to say I'm really struggling.


	5. Chapter 5

Day 55

Today was haircut day. I'd noticed Chak looked like he could use a haircut a while ago, but with only that small mirror we use for shaving it's hard to see yourself. Probably a good job. Kathryn declared we were starting to look 'feral' and it was time she got us back into shape.

It was really hot again, so we went for a swim in the river. Chak was her first victim. He didn't seem to have a problem with it. He said, "Be my guest" and just let her at him. Have to say she didn't do a bad job. It's quite a bit shorter, back to that really short brush cut he used to have when I first met him. He told her to cut it short, so it won't need doing again anytime soon. Then he went back in to swim while she had her wicked way with me.

I told her to just follow what was there and take a bit off all round. But it seems Kathryn only knows the one style. I look…shorn. It's _way_ too short, and similar to his. Well, identical actually. All she really needed to do was draw on a tattoo over my left eye with those crayons of his and she'd have a matching pair. Maybe that was what she was after? I look like a hairdressing trainee's experiment gone wrong. Even worse than that time I took a gamble with that new Bolian barber on Deep Space Nine. Oh well. Guess I'll get used to it.

She said she's letting hers grow. Suits her long.

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Day 57

Accidentally called him 'Chak' to his face today. Didn't go down too well. He looked kind of incredulous and said,

"What did you just call me?"

I laughed it off and said he must have misheard, what with all the noise from the phaser, milling the wood for the boat.

I'm really glad we've started on it. I really needed something to do here, something to look forward to. At least if we explore down-river a bit it'll be a break from routine and there's some uncertainty about what we'll find.

He seems to be dealing with our situation better than Kathryn and me at the moment. I envy him that; sure things affect him too, but he seems to be on more of an even keel. He didn't hit the bottom like we did, after the storm ruined everything. He's cautiously positive about having to be here, and he's getting a little bit more obvious in his attentions towards her every day. Wonder if he'll wear her down?

What if he's more successful next time and they do eventually get it together, then where does that leave me? Perhaps she'll decide she might as well start somewhere?

I mean eventually we're all bound to get on each other's nerves, and if we've got the rest of our _lives_ then she can probably dictate her terms, come to an 'arrangement' and rotate us or something!


	6. Chapter 6

Day 60

We've finished the boat. We made a good team in the end, and we finished it ahead of the schedule we set for ourselves. It's not like there was anything else to do. I'm actually getting used to his little ways too, and at least he doesn't boss me around half as much as she does. It's good to spend time with someone who doesn't feel the need to talk all the time.

Have to admit the boat's pretty cool. I was a little pissed he wouldn't let me improve the design, but now it's done, I can see it's turned out better than I thought it would. He knows what he's doing with wood; it's actually quite attractive to look at, like the bathtub. More than you can say for those sand 'paintings'…

Kathryn wants us to take a camping trip, go downstream and see what's there. It's time we explored further, so she's probably right to suggest it now. It sure is hot still during the day, but I'd say the night-time temperature has gone down even further these last few days. We've got the specs to replicate a tent, so we should be OK for a few days away.

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Day 65

Well here we are. I'm sitting in it to keep out of the sun, since I'm already red as hell. We shared the rowing this morning to get this far downstream, and we've just pitched the tent. They've gone off to pick these berries we've seen that look good. Kathryn had the good sense to bring a hat, so it's only her arms that are a bit red. With my new shorn look, I've managed to get sunburnt pretty much everywhere. The back of my neck is agony. We should've replicated more sunscreen. It's all right for Chak – he seems genetically incapable of burning - he's gone a sickeningly healthy dark brown colour already.

Tent's a bit small. Not sure if Kathryn accidentally put in the wrong specs, but if this is a three man tent, it must have been designed by a Ferengi. We all stood and looked at it in silence for a minute when we'd finished getting it up. Probably all thinking the same thing. Which lucky bastard gets to be in the middle and have the others roll on top of them all night? Kathryn got in there first and said that there was no way she was going to be sandwiched between us two. She said it was bad enough having to spend hours under the table during the storm like that, and there was no way she'd be doing that all night. I caught his eye then, and I could tell he didn't have any more of a problem with that than I did. Unfortunately, I don't think she missed that look, and she raised one of her eyebrows the way she does just before she lays into one of us.

Then she said she didn't want Chak rolling on top of her, given he's such a mobile sleeper, so she volunteered me for the hot spot. Guess it should be her call, chivalry not being dead and all that. So it looks like I'm the lucky one. On one side I get her stealing that nice, big thermal blanket we've got and on the other, I get him smacking into me. She's not wrong about him. I've seen him early morning a couple of times on my way to the shower room; he likes to sprawl, arms and legs stretched out everywhere like a starfish.

It's going to be one long night.

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Day 66

Woke up to feel her poking me and to the sound of her giggling. When I opened my eyes, I kind of had to agree she had a point.

All I remember about the night is waking up when I felt movement, and seeing her tug over every last little bit of that blanket, exactly like I knew she would. Thought I'd just gone back to sleep where I was, but given I woke up wedged under his hairy armpit, with my arm across his chest, I guess I must've gotten cold and gravitated towards the thermonuclear heat source that is Chak at night. Luckily, he was still asleep and I've sworn her to secrecy. Sure it won't last, that smirk she had on her is a sure sign that she'll threaten me with trotting out that little gem one day when she wants something.

The first day of our trip didn't throw up much to get excited about, except some more interesting food, which is something. But it's good to be exploring again, even if it's on a smaller scale these days…


	7. Chapter 7

Day 67

Well, I did wish for some excitement. Just this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

The day started out OK, at least it wasn't so hot, so I didn't need to worry about toasting myself anymore. But that was part of the problem. The weather here is really unpredictable. It got cooler and cooler and then all of a sudden the sky went almost black, like it did before the other big storm, and we knew we were in trouble. We were right out in the middle of the river, so we tried to get over to moor the boat, but that was a lot easier said than done.

We'd got to the side and Kathryn got out, and just as I was about to follow her, this huge swell came downstream. It knocked Chak and me overboard. When I came up I could see he'd had the exact same thought I'd had. There was no way we were going to let our baby get swept away just like that, and say goodbye to all that work. I mean we haven't even agreed on a name for her yet! Chak wants to call her Katchina, because it means dancing spirit. Like that's the reason…

Kathryn was yelling for us both to swim to the bank and get out, but that just wasn't going to happen, not until we'd tried at least. She was hopping mad.

We both got to the boat about the same time. It was way too rough to try and climb back in because there were still massive waves coming at us from somewhere upstream, but we were doing a reasonable job of steering it towards the side. Then it hit us. Another massive swell. I went under, and I must've hit my head on something and blacked out, because the next thing I knew she was pulling me out. I'd been swept right up against the bank. She's a lot stronger than she looks; I must've been a dead weight. I could hardly breathe.

That's when it got kind of hairy for a while. We couldn't see him. At all. Anywhere. It must have been a good two or three minutes before she spotted the boat, quite a way downstream, and we were both pretty sure it was moving towards the bank. Turns out it was, because a few minutes later we could just make him out, pulling it out on the other side. The river's too wide here to be able to shout across, but we can see him and he waved at us to let us know he's OK. He got it out of the water and dragged it right up the bank.

There was no way he could risk rowing back over here. There was still quite a wind and it started to rain these huge raindrops. Tropical style. The tent held up surprisingly well; we must've done a good job securing it. It didn't take Kathryn long to put right the few bits that had started to work themselves loose. She made me sit down because I'd got a bump coming up on the side of my head.

Then she kept scanning me, so much so that I almost had to snatch the damn thing off her because she was starting to hypnotise me the way she kept waving it backwards and forwards in front of my eyes. Once she'd convinced herself I was all right, she couldn't stop looking over there. She didn't say much, but it was crystal clear she was worried sick about him.

He'd upturned the boat for shelter, and I tried to reassure her he'd be OK. I kept telling her that if he managed to swim over there, tugging the boat with him, then there's no way he's injured or anything. He'll just be a bit wet - it's not like he's never been in this sort of rain before - and he's tough. A night under the stars won't kill him.

Even after she'd finally stopped scanning me, she was still really overcompensating. She kept drying me and I was dry! She wrapped me in pretty much everything that isn't tied down or part of the tent, and I'm kind of hot now. But it was sweet, so I wasn't going to complain. I could get used to this sort of attention actually.

It's been an eye-opener already though, watching her tonight. Even when the wind had died down a bit and it was getting gradually calmer by the minute, it was obvious she was still really edgy. I didn't think she'd ever go to sleep, but it looks like she's finally drifted off now, or almost fallen unconscious through exhaustion more like. I've already slept a while earlier. She didn't want to let me, after a head injury and all that, but I was so tired she must've decided it was OK. Last thing I remember is seeing her still looking out, keeping an eye on the other side.

It does seem strange without him. We've been together now every evening for over two months, so it feels different with just the two of us. Kind of intimate. So much so, that at one point I wondered if we actually had a bit of our very own questionable tension going on here. She has elegant hands; can't deny that once she'd reduced the swelling and it was no longer painful, I was enjoying her touch when she was fussing over the cut on my head.

It can't be far off dawn now.

Earlier, I'd tried to distract her by getting her to talk about home. I like hearing her stories. Her childhood was a lot like mine in some ways, and radically different in others. Like the childhood mine could've been, if it weren't for a few choice variables. Like me. And Dad. It worked for a while anyway and she cheered up for a bit, then she'd stick her head out of the tent again to look.

I thought it might be a good time to sound her out a bit about the two of them, but she wasn't giving anything away.

First, I asked her if she thought Tuvok might decide to disobey her orders and try and get the Vidiians to help after all. Because I've been wondering about that. Hoping more like. Although I guess if he had, they would've been back long before now. She wasn't convinced. Said he wouldn't risk the many for the sake of the few. I know she has a point, but I sure hope she's wrong.

Then I asked her how she saw the future here for us now. She answered in really general terms, so I asked how things were going between her and Chak and she gave me one of those withering looks and asked,

"And what 'things' would that be exactly?"

Which was meant to shut me up. I wasn't gonna let her get off that easily though, so I bit the bullet. I figured I might as well go ahead and just say it. So I told her that she didn't need to hold back on my account, because it'd be easier to live with a couple than to have to spend the rest of my life surfing the waves of sexual tension rolling off them. She just laughed at that and said I'd got it all wrong. Yeah right. She really is the queen of denial.

At least it cheered her up for a while. She's beautiful when she laughs; that giggle that woke me up the other morning was almost worth the humiliation of where I found myself. Don't think I'd ever heard her actually giggle before in all the time I've known her. Gotta admit I don't mind having her to myself. I know this is a pretty bizarre situation, but I can't help wondering how all this might've turned out… if he wasn't here. Can't say I'd ever really thought about her that way before, alien lizard babies notwithstanding, but things are different now. Anyone I might've been thinking about is only ever gonna get further away.

It's obvious Kathryn's still worried about him and about me; it must've given her quite a scare when we both went under like that. She probably saved my life, pulling me out when she did.

Woke just now to find she's gravitated my way in her sleep. She's curled right up close. It'd be rude to wake her. I like how her hair fans outs over my pillow too. It's tempting, but I haven't touched it. Well, not much.


	8. Chapter 8

Day 68

Well the good news is Chak's fine, and so's the boat.

It was calm again first thing, so he swam across and dragged the boat after him. The minute he was out, Kathryn kind of grabbed him and hugged him, even though he was soaking. He looked pretty embarrassed, but pleased to be back; guess he was embarrassed about getting her all wet. She herded him into the tent and then he got the over-zealous drying treatment too. It would've been pedantic to point out he wasn't injured and he's a grown man, quite capable of drying himself. Despite what people might think, I do sometimes know when to keep my mouth shut.

He must've been freezing over there last night.

The bad news is that we couldn't find the oars, not even after about an hour of searching. We've had to fashion some makeshift ones out of what wood there is here, and they're kind of crude, but they should be good enough to get us back to the shelter. The boat seems to have fared better than I did - hardly a scratch on her. Nothing we can't easily fix once we get back. Must've been her 'dancing spirit' that let her dance over those waves. Only seems fair he gets to name her now, given he risked his neck and managed to keep her from going downstream to God knows where. So, all in all, I think we were pretty lucky.

Since the weather seemed calm again, he suggested that we go ahead and spend one more day out here: Leave everything where it was and take a hike, following the river as closely as possible, to see what lay ahead. Sounded good to me, but Kathryn surprised us both, I think, when she said she wanted to play it safe and abort the mission. Then, there was this odd moment when it seemed like she'd forgotten she doesn't get the final say anymore, and it wasn't a mission anyway, it was a trip... She was gracious in defeat though. Eventually.

Anyway, I'm glad we did, because what we found sure made someone's day. Turns out there must have been a civilisation here once; hardy surprising on a fertile M-class planet really. We found what looked like the foundations of a settlement, not far from the riverbank. Several hundred years old, he said, but definitely constructed rather than a natural phenomena. Whoever lived here seems to have decided to pack up and ship out, or perhaps they died out? Bitten to death by these clouds of insects?

There are a hell of a lot more of them near the river than there were back at the shelter. All shapes and sizes, and some are kind of creepy. They seem to really like Kathryn. She must be tasty. Gotta hand it to her though, she sure knows a lot of curses; her repertoire is culturally diverse as well. It's no surprise that we're all a bit jumpy about insects, after what they've already done to us.

We got back just before dusk, and discovered our monkey friend had found our camp. He's really skilled with those opposable thumbs of his. Seems he knows how to undo zippers. He didn't take much though, just most of the fruit we'd picked and one of Chak's shirts. No accounting for taste. Shame about the fruit though; it took ages to pick all that. And he left us a present. Pretty gross. Not sure all that fruit agreed with him.

Kathryn declared that she'd take the hot spot tonight. Said she wanted to keep an eye on both of us, after nearly losing us yesterday. I got the full strength death-glare though when I asked if she'd tuck us in and give us a goodnight kiss, so I'd say she's already gotten over the worst of the shock.

* * *

Day 69

Home sweet home. Can't believe I'm actually feeling glad to be back in this tiny bed. It's a relief to be away from all those insects; they were really starting to get to me. My dreams were full of them that last night in the tent.

It wasn't exactly the best night's sleep I've ever had. I've heard Kathryn mumbling stuff in her sleep before, but last night she shouted out "Return fire!" or something. I guess the big guy and I are just hardwired to respond to that voice, because she had us both bolt upright, looking around wildly for a split second.

Then I woke up again later, when the temperature had dropped again. He was sprawled on his back as usual, but she'd slotted herself into his side, and his arm had come round to hold her. They looked right like that. Made me feel like a spare part though; superfluous to requirements like a Klingon second stomach or some other redundant organ. Though I should probably be grateful that's all I woke up to - at least it wasn't some steamy love scene.

He was already up fixing breakfast by the time I woke this morning. Guess he slept a damn sight better than he had the night before; wish I could say the same.


	9. Chapter 9

Day 70

Never thought I'd say this about spending yet another evening in the shelter, but last night was actually fun. Until the end bit that is.

All we'd ever done together in the evenings 'til now was tell each other stories and play a few games. She's one competitive woman; no surprise there really. She's been queen of charades for weeks, and I think Chak and I were both getting a bit tired of losing to her at poker. Absolutely no potential for strip poker there; I've already seen enough of him to last me a couple of lifetimes.

He made a pie with some of the fruit the monkey didn't get. They were a little like cherries, or cherries with a kick to them. We'd scanned them and they were safe to eat, but it wasn't until I scanned the leftover pie this morning that it all made sense. It seems once you cook them, they ferment into something really quite potent, though the alcohol-like substance must've been tasteless, like treble-strength alien vodka. He'd made this delicious sauce out of the berries to go with it too.

Turns out Kathryn and Chak can really be quite a lot of fun when they loosen up.

We put some music on from the database, and what followed would be best described as 'almost karaoke'. Almost, because we didn't know the words to most of the songs. He's got quite a voice on him, tuneful and pretty soulful too. She kind of husks rather than sings; worked for me though.

Once the pie'd got us in the swing, she decided we should blow some replicator power on a good bottle of wine. Someone really can't hold his liquor, and was all over the place after that. That's something I remember from my brief spell in his Maquis cell. The man hardly ever touched the stuff and when he did it was a good idea to be somewhere else.

Anyway, I remember getting her up to dance with me. I mean there's no law to say we can't have a little fun here; come to think of it there are no laws here at all. That's a thought I'll need to shelve for later.

I figure she agreed because she thought I was the safe option. I got a hefty swat at one point though; she probably had a point. Think I might have had a case of unconsciously-wandering hands. Guess I wasn't quite as safe as she'd thought. I've never been very good at playing by the rules anyway, and those berries seemed to have transformed me into some sort of scarily daring version of myself; one that didn't have too many boundaries left intact…

I can't remember whose idea it was to replicate some more wine; mine possibly. But a couple of glasses later, we persuaded her to show us some of that ballet she once claimed she'd done as a kid. Not sure I'd call it ballet - it was more like 'interpretive' dancing. Priceless. Wouldn't have missed that for the world. Would've loved to have had Tuvok in the audience to share it with us. Chak was completely hypnotised. I was so caught up in her performance I didn't even crack a single 'dancing spirit' joke. Shame I was already so wasted it never occurred to me to film it.

Then he decided she should dance with him. He didn't really give her the option of refusing. Went all dimpled on her and just about picked her up off her chair before she'd had a chance to reply. He had some impressive hip action going on there, and the way she ended up almost moulded against him meant she got swept along with his rhythm eventually. Hardly seemed fair that his hand didn't get the swatting; all it got was a bit of strategic re-positioning. A couple of sips of his drink later they had to stop though, because he was almost falling over. Good job he's such a lightweight; it could've easily gotten out of hand and more than a little uncomfortable for me. He sure wasn't the safe option last night either.

I remember thinking that once he actually tried, he seemed to be really quite successful with her; the man just didn't have the staying power. But it seems Kathryn's not easily put off when she's in the mood to dance, because I remember her announcing that she'd find us some better music, and she elbowed me out of the way and started messing with the settings I'd put into the database.

Then I think I might've started something I shouldn't have.

He'd pretty much keeled over and was just chuckling like a clown, and I think I asked him if he'd finished trying to romance our former leader. Don't think he still had the power of speech, so he didn't really reply, but unfortunately I was still going. I've a nasty feeling I said something like if he wasn't going to make more of an effort then maybe he should move over and let me show him how it's done. I think that was probably what woke him out of his stupor and got him really mad. He got himself upright again and we ended up in a sort of unlikely swaying face-off.

And then that's when it all got a bit out of hand. Well, a lot really.

At least he still had the presence of mind to dress it up for her sake as 'showing Tom a few boxing moves', when we really just wanted an excuse to beat the shit out of each other.

Kathryn might have been three sheets to the wind as well, but even in that state I think she knew what was going down, and that's why she stopped us; or tried to. I still feel bad about that. How were we supposed to guess she'd do that? She's one fearless woman, I'll say that for her. Hope she can forgive us both soon.

At least she wasn't hurt, and she fell really gracefully. Landed on top of me and not on the floor or the table, so that was something.


	10. Chapter 10

Day 75

Kathryn and I got to talking a couple of days ago - once she'd decided to talk to Chak and me again, that is - about how much we'd like some real, fresh meat, now it's a possibility. You get used to the replicated stuff in space because it's better than nothing, but it's never the same.

I sounded him out about setting some traps for some of the larger rabbity-looking animals we've seen once or twice. Didn't know how he'd feel about it, being vegetarian, but it seems he's OK with it if it's for survival, and it is, kind of. More for our psychological survival really. We've given up so many pleasures; I figure we should allow ourselves to make the most of whatever's left. And that's a good enough reason for a barbeque with real meat.

So, anyway, we made four traps, and set them in the woods.

Then, when we went out to check them this morning, we were in for a shock. He'd just called me over to see what that damned monkey had done to one trap, when we heard it. Couple of seconds later, and I remembered where I'd heard that sound before - the day we beamed down, on the away mission that stranded us here. It's a high-pitched, kind of wavering buzz.

This was really something else though. When we'd been bitten before, there were just one or two bugs. This time the noise got louder and louder and then there were literally thousands of them, in clouds, and they were on top of us in seconds.

We both just dropped everything and ran back to the shelter. They were getting everywhere, up my nose, in my eyes, my ears! It was seriously hard to breathe at one point. He shouted at me to yank my t-shirt up over my head to keep them out.

Kathryn was busy at the computer, planning our next 'mission', so at least she was spared. We came crashing in and secured the door and checked so that there was nowhere they could get in.

Typical, really, Kathryn and I spent two months trying to catch just _one_ of the little bastards and could we do it? And now, there are literally clouds of the things surrounding the shelter.

Chak got bitten really badly. I did too, but he's got way more. Out of the three of us, he's the only morning person. He usually gets up and goes for a run while Kathryn and I are still surfacing. When we went to check the traps, he still had his running gear on, and that meant the bugs had his legs to feast on too.

The Doc said it wouldn't matter if we got bitten again because there's something in the planet's atmosphere that's stopping us from getting sick. And it's not as if we're going anywhere, is it? But those massive clouds of them were just too much. I don't care if they're harmless to us now, they still make my skin crawl.

* * *

Day 85

Well, I'd say the last ten days rank with some of the worst I can remember. Definitely the low spot of our time here so far.

It was only a few hours after those things bit us that it started.

We both noticed the bites were getting sore. Then he passed out, just like that. Crashed to the floor in the middle of the room. He was just saying he didn't feel too good, and then he hit the deck. It kind of freaked me out because I figured within minutes that I probably wouldn't be far behind him. Kathryn took charge instantly, and between us we got him onto his bed. Eventually. He's heavier than he looks; and he looks pretty heavy.

Turns out the Doc was wrong.

Whatever it was in the planet's atmosphere that had been shielding us from the effect of the virus the first time we got bitten didn't seem interested in helping us second time around. We both got sick. Real sick. Real fast.

The sores were just starting to develop on his skin around the sites of the insect bites, when I started to feel woozy. Kathryn had me lying down within minutes. Guess she didn't fancy the prospect of a repeat performance, trying to get me onto my bed; she wouldn't have found it too easy solo either.

After that, I've only really got snippets of disconnected memories.

It was definitely a whole lot worse this time without the Doc to treat us, and I think maybe the virus is just much worse second time around. She really had her work cut out with the two of us.

I remember slipping in and out of consciousness in my alcove for what could well have been a couple of days, and she'd be there, making me drink, lifting my head so I could get the cup to my lips. And I remember one time there was a crash next door and she rushed out.

Then, after that, the next thing I can recall is her shouting at me, telling me I had to move. I couldn't really understand her for ages, but luckily she's nothing if not persistent, and eventually she managed to get me to do what she wanted. In some ways, she's never really stopped being in charge here… I can remember her pulling at me, hard, and more or less dragging me out of my alcove. Think I was trying to crawl. I certainly wasn't doing anything vertical like standing or walking.

It wasn't until I was getting better, a few days later, that I realised what she'd done. She'd pushed the table and chairs aside and gotten the three mattresses and lined them up in the middle of the living area. She made us both crawl to lie there, and then she put herself the middle, so she could monitor us more easily. God knows how she got him there.

I remember having this recurring dream where the Doc was just a disembodied, floating head, and he kept whispering something like 'a recurrence of the disease will undoubtedly prove fatal' over and over again. Really cheery stuff.

Then I remember hearing Chak shouting. He was yelling stuff about 'Got to get in there first and attack the Cardies before they come back!' It was pretty frightening actually, because he sure can yell loud. And I was only semi-conscious, and so it just fed into the not-so-great dreams I was already having. I could've done without his input. I do just fine with my own demons, thank you very much.

There was one particularly choice dream I had after that where I was back on Caldik Prime and there were whole squadrons of Cardassians in 'Fleet uniforms following our shuttle. And then the doctor in the hospital peeled his face off and he was Cardassian too, underneath.

Later, I know I heard Chak shouting, 'I don't know where I put them!', and then something about swimming in a lake. Least he didn't sound angry that time. I probably did some yelling of my own, but I don't remember it, which is a blessing, and I don't imagine Kathryn's about to bring it up.

She must have had one hell of a time; Chak and I were both laid up with it for almost a week. Then I started feeling better. The next few days after that were still really tough though, I felt weak and shaky, and even getting to the bathroom was a challenge. At least once I was back on my feet I could help him in that department; he was still pretty sick. Dread to think what she put herself through while we were both out of it. She must've done stuff that you'd only expect to have to do for your kids. I'm just glad I can't remember any of it. I mean we were both as weak as babies; really tall, really heavy babies.

She already had my respect, but after this… Don't know how I'll ever really be able to thank her properly for doing all that. It's humbling. She'd probably hate me for saying it, so I'm not about to tell her, but she'd make a great mom. Capable, caring and patient like that.

I do remember hearing her voice one time, when I was really sick. I think she was kind of hissing something like, "I'll be damned if you're taking them! You've had enough from me already!"

Guess she was talking to the planet. Can't say I blame her.


	11. Chapter 11

Day 89

I feel like myself again. Finally.

Don't think he should be too far behind; he's up and about. Although anytime anything that buzzes comes anywhere near either of us, we jump about two metres in the air. Seems all three of us just don't do too well with insects anymore.

Side effect has been that Chak and me are kind of skinny looking, and seriously hungry _all_ the time. It's been hard to eat much in one go without feeling sick again. So we've had to start small. And I've started to share his interest in preparing more interesting food. Life really is full of surprises. If someone'd told me when I first met him, that a few years down the line, I'd be discussing the day's _menu _with the man every morning, I'd have been more than a little sceptical. Recipe for the perfect cocktail of explosives, maybe...

Kathryn has started to complain that it always seems to be time for another meal. Said she's going to have to start watching what she eats or she'll balloon out. Strange to hear her talk like that. Never thought about her as a woman who worries about that sort of stuff. Though I can't say I'd often thought about her as a woman at all before we got stranded here. My captain, and even my saviour, sometimes, when I was feeling sentimental; that was plenty. Right now, it might actually be helpful if I could go backwards.

Chak found it hard to deal with the fact he got ill first and for longest, I think. Guess it doesn't sit too well with his idea of himself as Mr. Self-Sufficient-Survival-Skills and all that. But you don't get to choose those sorts of things, do you? He looks uncomfortable whenever she mentions the last couple of weeks, like he can't bear to think of the state he must've been in and what she went through. Sure know how he feels on that one.

I was actually impressed with how he handled it all. Not that I'm gonna share that with him. He was as weak as a kitten afterwards, and he quietly forced himself to do a bit more each day to get back to normal. It was hard enough for me, and I was well ahead of him in the recovery stakes.

She's been different. She's always been tactile, but, if I didn't know better, I'd have thought she was trying to start up some sort of three-way thing here these last few days! She can't seem to keep those little hands off either of us. Hands on my shoulders when she comes up behind me if I'm sitting at the table; a poke on the arm or the chest here; a squeeze of the bicep there; then a palm on my cheek one time; and she ruffled my hair the other day, like my mom used to when I was a kid. It's hard not to notice. It probably just means she's not quite done yet with reassuring herself we're both OK again.

And I think she might even be going to _finally_ admit what's been glaringly obvious to me for a while now. She doesn't look past him anymore, and sometimes I've seen her take his arm when they go out for a walk. Only when I'm not going too. She obviously still thinks it might bother me. She's always been considerate, compassionate, even though she's one of the toughest women I've ever known. That's why she's such a good leader. _Was_, I guess now. Although she's never really stopped being in charge here. Not really. When she _really_ wants to do something, he usually caves in. And as for me, well, gotta admit I like seeing her happy too. Don't know what that makes me. Probably doesn't actually matter that much. We all just do what we have to in the end.

* * *

Day 95

She's sick. As sick as he was, already, and she doesn't seem to be getting better yet.

He's been beating himself up saying we should never have let her go off on her own, but really, it could've happened anytime. We just don't know enough about our environment here yet. We thought the bugs had gone, for now at least. There hadn't been a single one anywhere since the day they got Chak and me. And we're not prepared to put on environmental suits every single time we go outside. At one point, I do remember Kathryn saying she had a feeling we hadn't seen the last of them though. Turns out we hadn't.

It was a couple of days ago. She took a book down to sit by the river and read - seemed like a good idea to me - give her a break from having been stuck in the shelter looking after us for days.

But then they came again, just like before. Massive clouds of them from nowhere. We were out front here, mending the boat, and we saw them too. She ran straight back, but she'd already been bitten. A lot.

The more you know about what's coming, the harder it is to stay calm, waiting for it all to start, I reckon. She cracked a few lame jokes about payback time for her looking after us, but you could tell she was scared.

She's been out of it now for forty-eight hours or so already. He's been in there nearly all the time. I don't think he slept at all last night. He keeps deferring to me about her condition, because of me being a medic, but I don't know much more about this than he does really. I think he's just after reassurance, so, I've done my best, but actually, I'm scared for her too. There was hardly any meat on her to start with. She can't afford not to eat for days and days like we did. At least we'd been feeding her up a bit recently, what with all our extra little catch-up meals.

* * *

Day 100

He woke me in the middle of the night and called me in because he thought she was worse. Her pulse was weaker and erratic and she seemed completely out of it.

He carried her into his alcove a couple of days ago and settled her in his bed. Then, he put her mattress on the floor in there for him to sleep on. That way, he's got his stuff handy and he can keep an eye on her all the time. Didn't ask my opinion; he just did it.

Our beds are low on the floor here anyway, so he's right next to her. I've heard him talking to her, telling her stories and stuff. I tried to reassure him that he was just as sick as that too, but I guess it's hard for him to believe because he didn't see it.

Day 101

Today, I put my foot down and made him let me take over. He was beyond exhausted. Then later, when she'd been stable for a few hours and was sleeping, I made him come sit out front with me for a bit. I thought maybe he could use some company. Take his mind off how she was doing for a few minutes at least.

I talked to him about how much l enjoyed building the boat, that the ocean had always been my first love. A love of the ocean is something all three of us have in common. We've found quite a few things we all share over the months now. We all like to bend the rules when it suits us, and they both like to quote them at other people and don't always practise what they preach. But hey, nobody's perfect.

I've never really thought of myself as a counselling kind of guy, and I was just making it up as I went along, but I needed him to realise he'd be no use to her exhausted and we should take turns.

He's not usually one to open up to me, so it was a bit of a one-off I think, but he actually said he was scared. He said he felt useless. I told him I feel that way too, but that we shouldn't worry because she'll hang in there. She'd never leave us on our own; she'd know we'd make a mess of things. She's just too much of a control freak to leave us to it.

Then I told him that when she's better, they should stop waiting. That life's too short, or some cliché like that. I know it embarrassed the hell out of him, but it had to be said. He looked at me kind of suspiciously, like he thought maybe I didn't mean it or something. So I levelled with him. I told him that yeah, I'd be talking her into being with me if he wasn't here. But, he is, and it's obvious where her affections lie. Obvious to me, at least. He didn't say much, but he was listening.

She'll be OK. She has to be. I don't think either of us could do this without her.


	12. Chapter 12

Day 105

She's better, and everything's changed. Absolutely everything.

She began her convalescence with a taste of my freshly barbequed rabbitty thing, accompanied by one of Chak's salads. You can't get much better than that. Not here, anyway. She only had a tiny portion, but we knew it meant she was on her way to recovery. Sure, she's never been one to eat much, but maybe that makes her all the more discerning about what little she does eat? Maybe she only gets enthusiastic about high quality cuisine? And my barbequed rabbitty thing was certainly that. Tasted a lot like chicken really.

Watching her so sick really drove home to us how completely vulnerable we are here. Luckily, we haven't come across too many other hazards yet, apart from the crazy weather and the bugs. Not knowing when they might come back certainly adds an edge to living here though. I like a little mystery in my life, but the kind that involves randomly-appearing, almost-killer insects? That, I could do without.

Once she was conscious again and starting to get better, she made an _awful_ patient. Really hard to control! We both kept telling her as long as she took things slow and easy, she'd be fine; but would she listen? She kept doing too much, too soon, and trying to escape our attempts at caring for her. Said we were both driving her insane. At one point she even threatened to take the tent and move out until she was completely better, unless we both stopped doing everything for her and fussing like old women. She told Chak he was worse than her mother. Not even his sternest disapproving frowns were enough to keep her from pushing herself. He probably should've gotten really tough on her and withheld coffee or something. Can't believe neither of us thought of that.

Anyway, she survived, and she's been back on her feet for two or three days now, and we're just getting back to normal.

Normal is a bit different in some subtle ways though. She hasn't moved back into her alcove. Yet. I'm trying not to be nosey, but it's kind of hard. As I've gone past early morning or late at night, I've seen him sleeping on the mattress on the floor in there still, so I'm not sure what exactly's gone down, but they don't seem in any hurry to go back to how things were.

One time I saw her go up and slide her arms around his waist and hug him from behind when he was in the kitchen. Maybe she thought I was still outside? Or, then again, maybe she was just after a second helping? Apart from that, nothing has changed outwardly between them; but some of that sexual tension has most definitely gone, and there's really only one sure-fire way to achieve that sort of… release. Though I guess I could be wrong.

Anyhow, this morning, I was packing up the last of the medical supplies and I scanned myself. Nearly dropped the medical tricorder. Had to do it three times before I'd let myself believe it.

It's gone. The residual trace of the virus that the Doc found in our bloodstream after we'd been bitten the first time; the trace that meant we'd get sick again if we ever left the planet's atmosphere; the trace that's still been there _every time_ I've scanned all three of us over the last three months; well, it's gone. It's just gone. I don't know how that's possible, but it has. It was still there last time I scanned myself, just after I started to feel better, but now… it's just gone.

My head felt like it'd explode. Couldn't wait to tell them.

He'd persuaded her to get up and go for a walk with him first thing, working up to getting her to join him running, I think. After that, they'd said they'd go and check to see if we'd caught anything in the traps last night. So, I went looking for them. Couldn't find them anywhere, so I figured they must've walked back by another, roundabout route and I'd just missed them. Twenty minutes later, and I was back at the shelter again. Soon as I went inside, something stopped me dead. I really couldn't have said what it was, but I just knew they were in there, in his alcove, together.

Sure enough they were.

From where I was standing, I could see just about half of him framed in the opening. He was standing next to his bed, barefoot, with his back to me, and I could just see the top of her head slightly above his, and her lower leg and foot flush against his thigh; he must've been holding her up. I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but there really wasn't much room for misinterpretation. I could see one of her hands in his hair, and her other hand clasping the back of his neck. Seems they'd already dispensed with his running vest, as he was naked to the waist, but his shorts were still on. Couldn't really see her. Guess they thought that I'd be a while longer.

I'd sure picked a lousy time to make my life-changing discovery.

I knew that if we were all free of the virus, we could leave and go back to _Voyager_. Or _try_ to, at least. All we'd need is someone with long-range communications. Then we could contact the ship, get them to come back to meet us, go back to our lives. And, if we were gonna be able to do that, I suddenly felt sure that she'd want to know immediately, even if it meant a bit of an awkward interruption.

They're both really quite private people, which is why all this has taken them so damn long in the first place! If I hadn't been stranded here too, I'm sure their ship would've sailed long ago. So now, even if it had only just launched a few days ago, I couldn't help wonder whether she might want to drop anchor immediately and have time to think… I mean, so much that's happened here is going to make going back pretty awkward already. Any fool can see that.

It'd been obvious to me that she'd been trying to ignore what she felt for him for months because she believed that we'd find a cure and we'd be going back to the ship, and I guess she thought they just couldn't make that work. And, then, well, we stopped believing we'd ever be able to leave, so things changed.

I stood there thinking about all that for a good thirty seconds - and that can seem like a long time sometimes. I could've just walked back out quietly. Gone for a walk or something and come back in an hour or two. That's what the romantic in me was thinking.

Or, I could've done what I did.

I crept back out and then came slowly back in again, calling out to them loudly, being sure to make plenty of noise. Because that's what I thought she'd want. Him? I'm not so sure, but what she wants matters more to me. That's just the way it is. Because first and foremost, she's a starship captain, and I know she'd do anything to be that again; and the same thought came to me again and again: she'd want to know about my discovery _immediately_.

When she knows what's happened, if she still wants to carry on what they may have already started here these last few days, well, then I'm sure that door will still be wide open for her. He's never said a word about it to me, but I just know he'd want them to be together wherever we are. The man's been in love with her for a while now; that much is obvious. In fact, that's about the only thing that is obvious about those two.

Anyway, then I told them.

And it's true; we're all free of it. We've done every test we know how, all afternoon, and the result's been the same every time; it's just gone. We'll have to wait for proper medical research facilities to find out how, but Kathryn has a couple of working theories at the moment.

Either it isn't until the virus enters your bloodstream for a second time that your body decides to make the antibodies needed to fight it off; or we didn't get sick enough the first time because the Doc's treatment stopped the disease from running its course. She's wondering if it's only in the final stages that your body starts to make the right antibodies; ones that are able to deal with those residual traces that we were left with before. We'll probably never know, and, frankly, right now I don't care, as long as we don't get sick again.

So now, we make plans.

It's gonna take a while to sink in. Ever since the storm smashed everything, I've tried not to let myself think about the possibility of leaving here, let alone think about everyone we left on the ship.

We're arguing now about who gets to be the lucky one to test whether we can _really_ survive outside the planet's atmosphere. Given how wrong we've been about this virus so far, we can't take anything for granted. There's always the possibility it might come back again, in some way we don't understand. Kathryn said we should make sure we keep our expectations in check for now.

Yeah, like that's going to happen…

About ten minutes after I'd scanned myself, in my head I was already back on the bridge, humming away at the helm; playing pool in Sandrine's; sleeping in my _own_ bed in my own quarters again; sitting in the mess hall with Harry, eating something unnameable; piloting an away mission with B'Elanna across from me, threatening to pummel me if I put too much strain on the warp drive again. I'm there already. And it can't come soon enough.

To quote a friend of ours, it seems logical to send me to test out our new virus-free status. Wouldn't want anyone to think I'm bucking for a promotion for bravery when we get back to the ship, but it's just that I'm younger, fitter, and, frankly, more expendable. If something went wrong, it's obvious to me that those two should be the ones left. They're kicking up a storm in there at the moment, arguing about it.

She wants to go, naturally. And he wants to go, so that she can't. Don't often hear him raise his voice, but I guess he's making an exception. I'm with him on part of it at least. There's no way she's going; we won't let her do that. I'll sabotage the shuttle before I let her, or lock her in the bathroom or something - but he'd probably beat me to it. Neither of us is above playing dirty on this one. Sometimes, I think she forgets who she's dealing with. I mean it's not Harry and Tuvok she's taking on.

And, so, that means it's him or me. I asked her who she'd rather spend the rest of her life with down here if it all went wrong. She said it was an impossible question. But we both already know the answer, even if she won't say it out loud.


	13. Chapter 13

Day 112

We're on the way.

I won in the end. Eventually, Kathryn got it into her head that we weren't going to let her go, but boy, did she put up a fight first! We had to have her on a twenty-four hour surveillance rota, in case she tried to sneak off and go it alone.

So, I spent two days travelling at warp four 'til I found a planet with a breathable atmosphere. Then I did what we'd discussed. Spent another two days there, monitored myself pretty much constantly, and nothing happened. Other than that I got really, really bored. I've been completely healthy all the time. While I was gone, they had six days alone together on the planet. Think they needed it.

It's over. Our exile, it's actually over. Whatever else happens now, at least we're not condemned to spend the rest of our lives on that one planet.

We packed up everything we wanted to take; or rather everything we _could_ take; some things had to stay because they were just too big. The bathtub being a case in point. And we're on our way now to an M-class planet we've located. The scans indicate it's inhabited by a warp-capable species, so then it should just be a matter of waiting to see if we can locate the ship and get a message through. I'm sure Kathryn can sweet-talk Tuvok into bringing the many back to pick up the few.

We're all so damn excited to have this second chance. It's crazy. She's the captain again already. Can see she's trying to keep her expectations in check, but there's something in her eyes that makes me think she's not really doing any better than I am on that. We haven't put our uniforms on yet, but I can see she's itching to. He's not really in a hurry, I don't think. He always said he found them damned uncomfortable anyway. I'm strangely excited about putting the uniform on again actually. Kind of took me by surprise, that feeling. It'll sure be good to wear a working comm badge again too. Little things like that, you really miss.

I couldn't say exactly what's gone on between them, but the old tension's most definitely back, and then some. It's obvious we're all thrilled that we can leave the planet, and life's full of possibilities again, but, it's also obvious they're going to have to find a way to 'be' together that works for them now. Can't say I have any idea what it'll be. That's their business, after all. They'll work something out. I do feel for them though; guess their timing was more than a little off. At least they had those six days alone to work through stuff, if that's what they did.

I'm so excited I can hardly sleep; I've been like a kid on Christmas Eve every night now for nearly a week.


	14. Epilogue

AN:Thank you very much to everyone who's read and reviewed, I really enjoyed writing this, and I really appreciate the feedback.

* * *

Epilogue

"Sickbay to the bridge."

"_Tuvok here, Doctor_."

"My guests are fit and well, if a little thinner than when I last saw them. I'm sure Mr. Neelix will have something to say about that. They pose no health risk to the crew, and although I have several more tests to perform, there's no reason they can't be discharged to their quarters presently. I'm recommending they don't return to duty for another twenty-four hours, to allow them time to acclimatise, but I doubt any of them will take much notice."

"_Thank you, Doctor. Bridge out_."

* * *

XxX

* * *

Tom slid off the biobed and turned to see the Captain and Chakotay standing at the foot of the furthest biobed. Chakotay's hand was on her lower back and his head was dipped close to hers as they spoke in hushed tones. _They still look right together, _thought Tom, _even back in uniform_.

Then the door opened and a small group appeared, comprising of Tuvok, Neelix, Kes, Harry and B'Elanna.

Tuvok walked up to the Captain and stood to attention, beginning immediately,"On behalf of the whole crew, may I welcome you back, Captain, Commander, Lieutenant?"

The Captain straightened up also and replied, "Thank you, Tuvok. It's certainly good to be here. We didn't expect such a welcoming committee, but I won't say we're not delighted. Thank you all. Thank you for coming back for us, Tuvok."

"You sure you're ready to give up the big chair?" Chakotay enquired.

"The chance to resume my duties as chief of security will not be an unwelcome one, I can assure you, Commander."

"So you missed us, huh?"

"Dare I ask who has the bridge, Tuvok, with all of you down here?" the Captain put in, with a small frown.

"In the absence of the Commander and Mr. Paris, Lieutenant Ayala and Ensign Culhane have proved themselves quite capable, Captain," Tuvok intoned.

A pointed, possibly 'told you so' look passed between Chakotay and Janeway.

Neelix and Kes were the first to embrace the Captain, and then, as she moved to greet Tuvok with a hand on his shoulder, the two unofficial members of the senior staff hugged Chakotay, finally joining Harry to form a small group around Tom on the other side of the room.

Harry pulled Tom into a fierce hug, and Tom watched over his friend's shoulder as B'Elanna and Chakotay embraced.

"What took you so long, Tom? We've been expecting a call for months!" Harry asked, as he finally released him.

"I was going to ask you the same thing! I mean how come you didn't all persuade Tuvok to ignore the Captain's orders, find some friendly Vidiians and bring us some miracle cure months ago? Call yourself a friend?"

Harry blushed. "Funny you should say that, because I had actually started a little plotting… but things didn't exactly go to plan. I've spent most of the last three months in sickbay. I'll tell you all about it later, when I'm done blaming you, that is."

"Oh? And just how do you work that one out?"

"Well, it seems we hadn't quite seen the last of the Kazon. I was on my way back to the ship after picking up some supplies, when my shuttle was attacked by three of their scout ships and my console exploded in my face. And, the only reason I was leading that away mission and piloting the shuttle in the first place, was because you and Chakotay weren't here. So, it's actually all your fault! You owe me, Tom!"

Tom's face betrayed his real concern for a moment, "But you're OK now?

"Absolutely. But I've seen enough of the Doc to last a lifetime, that's for sure. And sickbay became my second home."

"It's so good to have you back, Tom." Kes gifted Tom with a beautiful smile as she touched his arm. "We've missed you all terribly."

Neelix put his hand on Tom's shoulder and patted him firmly, "We certainly have, and now you're finally here, we're going to need to plan a celebration! You three certainly look like you could use some good food again. In fact, I recently dug out some particularly exotic recipes. I've been saving them for a special occasion, and this is perfect."

"That'll be really great, Neelix, thanks a lot." Tom replied.

Then, after the Doctor had nodded his final assent, Janeway and Chakotay began to make their way towards the doors, still engaged in conversation, with Tuvok following close behind. Tom turned away from Neelix to come face to face with B'Elanna, who was moving his way to join the little group around him. He held his arms wide and shot her his most piercing blue gaze.

"D'you miss me, Chief?"

"You know what? Believe it or not, I think I actually did," she replied with a full smile as she punched his arm. Then, a slight smirk spread across her face as she went on. "So, what was it like to be stuck down there for months with those two? Did you have a good time?"

Tom laughed. Harry and B'Elanna fell into step either side of him, as they followed the others out of sickbay.

"Did I have a good time? Well, apart from a few life-threatening situations I'd rather forget, like you said, believe it or not, I think I actually did."

[The End]


End file.
